Sunday, August 17, 2008

Rude people

I posted this on another blog that I contribute to but I thought I could use your advice too. Let me know what you think.

Let me start this post by letting those of you who don't know that I am expecting. I'm almost 6 months along. I'll have a c-section Dec 2. I am NOT one of those cute tiny pregnant women, I have a host of issues that make it so I look huge. I have big babies, (my first was 9lbs,4oz, my second was 8lbs,5oz and she was two weeks early) I have two hernias, I have a tilted uterus and I carry all out front, there's not much inside me. There is a woman (who I also visit teach) who EVERY week in church goes on and on and on about how huge I am and then says "I hope I didn't offend you". Quite frankly, this week was the last straw, I'm not sure if I'm particularly grumpy today or what but I have had enough. I really am a little angry. I realize I am big, I know it more than she does. I have this happen not only by her but by complete strangers at least once a day. My question to you is, how do I tell people that I'm aware of how big I am and I am indeed only having one, not multiples without sounding like a complete B****. I am really amazed that people think they can tell me how huge I am simply because I'm pregnant. You wouldn't say that to a woman who wasn't pregnant and just big. Shouldn't they have some manners too???

12 comments:

Tug said...

As hard as it may be, just say it. "I'm well aware of what I look like, thank you", and walk away. It's sad that people just keep getting ruder, but sometimes you just have to put a stop to it - good luck!

bon said...

Bleh! You look beautiful... why SHOULDN'T you look just as you do? What's with all the comparison that goes on anyway?

I think that I would take the "honesty" tack. Heck... you are pregs, she just hurt your feelings, it shouldn't be a stretch to squeeze out a tear or fifty and just tell her that "that hurts my feelings and makes me feel HORRIBLE that you would go on and on about my size. I may be pregnant, but I am still a woman!"

That will stop her in her tracks, and likely save many women in the future from her "observations."

Seriously. The nerve. Let her taste a bit of natural consequences, as everyone watches the poor pregnant woman finally break down in tears from the cruel onslaught of inconsiderate remarks.

Or I guess you could just tell her in private.

Fantastagirl said...

Okay - 1st - go look at the picture you posted a few days ago - are you back? You are just beautiful, that woman is rude, hurtful, and well rude.

In my opinion follow Bon's advice - it's good and it works - especially if you can add a few tears - and be sure to do it in front of other people, because then she can't twist your words.

Lisita said...

Ugh - People just can't help themselves from putting their foot into their mouth. Perhaps you could muster all the sweetness you possibily can in your voice and tell them the brutal truth. Actually, it doesn't hurt my feelings to hear you say I'm huge b/c I already know. Please don't tell me or any other pregnant women those words ever again... but have a nice day (smile)! Good luck - that's a really hard situation!

Katie said...

I can't believe someone would be that rude! Has this women never been pregnant? I saw the pic you posted and I think you look great - and seriously, even if you looked horrible she still has no right to say anything. I like Bon's comments ... ask her how she would feel if you commented on her figure in front of everyone ... heck, get mad, scream, yell ... you're entitled to as many "hormone-induced" rages as you want, after all, you are pregnant! Good Luck!

familytreejunkie said...

I would never say those things to a woman, period? Most women who are pregnant seem to be even more sensitive about their bodies and who could blame them.

People need to get a clue and stop being so rude.

Susan Whittier said...

Grrrr!!!! I have a hundred responses to snotty people like her but most of them ARE unspeakable!

But you could..... kindly say: You know sweetie your comments may be true but they are also very hurtful,rude and unnecessary. After all wasn't it Thumper's mother who taught:"If you can't say something nice-don't say nothin' at all" So, in this case I will just have to consider the SOURCE of such comments. You, my dear, being the source of such unkindness must have a very miserable life and or self image, so, therefore, I PITY you. However, I do suggest that in the future you put your belly where your mouth is...you may learn something."

Next answer: My mother told me the would is full of people like you and that I should just consider them a sub-human & ignore them, therefore I happily ignore you.

Next answer: Obviously my Father in Heaven is proud of me and thinks I am big enough to handle any challenge he gives me. Having a baby is full of unexpected challenges and I am willing to make any sacrifice to bring this sweet child into my home. So far the BIGGEST challenge I have faced is people like you.

Next answer: Well dear, your nose is much bigger than my belly because it is sticking into a place it does not belong; oh by the way 'I hope this truth does not hurt your feelings in any way.' Your hair DOES look nice today. ... then walk away.

BigSister said...

I still can't believe you should even have to deal with this!!! My new favorite reply is one that I read in the Miss Manners column the other day. She said to ask the person "why they want to know?" when they ask very personal questions. That usually stops people in their tracks and you always can reply that both you and baby are fine if they are inquiring about your health. I also agree with Fantastagirl and Bon. It's not rude for you to call people on their rude behavior and not accepting it.

Superwoman said...

I feel much better now knowing I am justified in my anger. I did some web searches yesterday and found some pretty humorous things to say and some GREAT t-shirts that I am sorely tempted to buy. However, after calming myself down I've come to the conclusion that I just need to tell her that yes indeed it does hurt my feelings and I would appreciated it if she never mentioned it again. If she's still rude after that I won't feel one bit bad being rude back to her.

leslie the licorice stick lady said...

Superwoman-
I am so sorry to hear this. I agree that you need to be honest, but as rude as she was or anyone else may be, there is really no reason to be rude back. I know other people may totally disagree, but think of what the Savior would do. How many times was He pick on, judged wrongly and intentionally or non intentionally hurt? Yet, He still continued to love His enemies. You can effectively rebuke with kindness. That is the way God would want you to handle it. Rudeness is rudeness no matter who gives it out first.

Matt said...

You could always comment on how big SHE'S getting, and ask when HER twins are due!

I hate stuff like this. It's like when people ask "When are YOU getting married?". I always want to say "When I'm D***ned good and ready."

Cheer34 said...

just start crying.....and say... you are so mean...then walk away......hahahahahahah.....some people are just stupid......